As you probably already know, asparagus can have strange after-effects in the bathroom. I believe I am one of the most susceptible people to this urine odor phenomenon. You can smell my asparagus pee all through the house after I munch on some of these little green odor missiles. I could fumigate our second floor just from having a few spears in a salad. If you don't believe me you can ask Sean, he refuses to come near me after I eat it.
I have decided that my acute sensitivity to asparagus is a calling. I will, nay, I must, use my body in an experiment to find a cure. I will conduct a desperate search to find something that will neutralize the smell of asparagus pee. My body and the house will smell sort of like liquid vitamins and chicken noodle soup until I make my discovery.
The test will work like this, I eat asparagus then I eat/drink something that I think will reduce the odor in my pee. I will then rate the effect of each on this blog.
Control Group Findings.
Control meal- Asparagus in a salad with goat cheese, red onion, beets, cucumber balsamic vinaigrette
7:15- Consumed salad
8:45- Bathroom break #1, odor present not deadly
10:15- Bathroom break #2, odor pungent and lingering
1:10 am- bathroom break #3- odor slightly less pungent but still lingering
9:00 am- next morning bathroom trip- Odor still evident, less pungent but noticeably there
Week #1- Will Hard Alcohol reduce the effects?
Theory: Drinking liquor will dehydrate me and get all the odor out right away.
Meal- Salad with asparagus, goat cheese, red onion, tomato, cucumber, zucchini and balsamic vinaigrette
Neutralizer- 2 Whiskey Drinks.
8:20- Consumed Salad
9:13- Bathroom break #1- slight smell, I would compare this to the normal reaction a person may have to Asparagus
10:57- Bathroom Break #2- Very Pungent and Lingering. (Sean used the bathroom after me and yelled "This is gross; what the hell is wrong with you?")
1:00 am- Bathroom Break #3- Fading smell with staying power
9:00 am- morning bathroom trip- no scent
Conclusion: Drinking Whiskey forces most of the smell out in one pass but not enough to declare it a success.
If you have any ideas you want me to try go ahead and suggest them. If it won't kill me I will try it. My goal is to solve this age old pissing problem and share it with the world!