Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Fart Salad

You may think something called fart salad would be a novelty or some kind of weird food that tastes like farts. But you'd be wrong. Fart salad is perhaps one of my most versatile dishes. It is a simple bean salad that can be served with any meal or as a snack. Whenever I have this salad it is pretty much all I eat for two days until it's gone. And it couldn't be easier to make.

So you may be asking, why is it called fart salad? Well, we all know beans are the magical fruit with the tooting and such. For some reason I find this combination of beans, peas and corn just takes it to a whole new level. I have a fridge full of fart salad right now and since I started writing this blog I've farted four times. And these are not little, quiet farts. They are loud and explosive. On it's own, it won't make smelly farts, but this guarantee doesn't stand if you consume other foods with it. It takes about six hours for the farts to really reach their peak and if you continue to eat the salad you will have a steady stream throughout the day and night.

Just think of the uses for this! You could add a little extra to your Walter the Farting Dog Halloween costume, impress your friends with a fart signaled power hour, or simply get a seat to yourself on the bus. All I ask is that you please use this recipe responsibly. Oh, and it tastes really good too.

1 lb bag frozen peas
2 cans whole kernel corn
1 can chick peas (garbanzo beans)
1 can black beans
1/4 cup minced red onion
salt & pepper

balsamic vinaigrette
2 cloves garlic chopped
handful of basil leaves
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
about 1 cup olive oil (more or less depending on taste)
salt & pepper

1. Dump peas and minced red onion in a large bowl
2. Drain and rinse beans and corn and add to bowl
3. In a blender or food processor blend garlic, basil and vinegar
4. Slowly drizzle in olive oil until you get the flavor and consistency you want. The thicker the better for this salad (that means more oil)
5. pour dressing over beans and mix
6. salt and pepper to taste
7. eat and fart.


Monsieur Fun said...

Who's that douche-hole in the picture? He kind of looks like a young Dr. House.

Anonymous said...

Stfu this is a good recipe. And honestly, he does not look like a douche hole.

Ovid's Brother said...

He seems nice and he made a nice salad. Stop being such negative jerks for a change.

Anonymous said...

i agree - tital douche hole, with cock smoking lips.

Silvia Jacinto said...

Salads are good for your health that is why i love and enjoy eating salad either for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Thank you for sharing your recipe and continue to inspire more people to become fit and healthy inside and out. Visit my site too for more information. Have a great day!



Anonymous said...

Silvia - the guy is using his salad as a pretext to talk about his asshole. Get with the programme