Bacon Night

When I first heard the words "bacon night" I didn't know how to feel. On one hand, free bacon at a bar sounds gross. That's pretty clear. I think of drunk guys who haven't washed their hands reaching for bacon out of a communal pot licking the grease from their fingers and going back in again. I think of an already overweight Pittsburgh population cracking one more notch in the belt. I think of Orson, Babe and Porky huddled together in the back kitchen, Porky tearfully muttering, "That's all folks."

On the other hand....I freaking love bacon! It is possible that knowing I shouldn't be eating this delicious fatty pork adds to the allure...it is like smoking a cigarette or having sex outdoors. It's dangerous, it's greasy, it is awesome. Bacon is one of those foods that have a hold on my heart. The idea of a cold beer and a free strip of bacon is exactly what you need on a Tuesday night.


Enter Harris Grill, where Tuesday night is bacon night. Free bacon at the bar. Baskets to your table for just a dollar. And the whole place smells with the perfect aroma of bacon, not too strong but enough to make you salivate. The bacon on the bar sat in little baskets and did not in any way appear gross. Strips of bacon are much more grabbable than nuts or popcorn. The place was crowded for a cold Tuesday night, humble pilgrims come to kneel before the other white god. I heard glasses clink with the toast "to Bacon" and orders being shouted for "more bacon please". I wondered if this was what heaven would be like.

In the end we got a table and some apps.which were all tremendous, especially the coconut curry mussels. I noticed the menu had "chicken fried bacon." This is something I saw once on TV from a place down south, something I had already started planning the road trip to. But now it looks like I can sample this gluttonous absurdity in my own back yard! I could not order it tonight, though. That, my friends, is the holy grail of bacon. Dipped, deep fried fat. Oh my! That needs to be an event and I need a full physical before I attempt to eat it. Watch your phones people, I may just be calling on you to join me at a Tuesday night, bacon night, sometime soon.